~Mourning Tulips~

~Tears~

Amp

2nd row - 3rd from left - just how I like to remember him
He was my "brotha from anotha motha". My heart breaks when I think of his final moments and how he was taken from us so young. Sometimes life just is not fair.


Do you remember?
Do you remember, when it was just a song?
Just a bunch of kids growing up
There was nothing wrong
A smile on your face and passion in your heart
How did a few wrong turns tear is all apart?

Do you remember, when you stepped in?
"Ya sista from anotha motha"
Was in trouble once again
You never thought twice
You were always there for me
The trouble in a few wrong turns, now I can clearly see

Do you remember, when I witnessed the wrong thing?
Some how you convinced them
This canary would not sing
I walk away free
I knew you had my back
A few wrong turns and you were slipping through the cracks

Do you remember, you turned and walked away?
I tried to reach for you
I wanted you to stay
You had high hopes
Dollar signs in your eyes
Can you hear from where you are -
Our unstoppable cries?
I know things aren't always as they seem
I wish it were still just a song
I wish to awake from this horrible dream
©2008LisaM.Earnest

What Then?
When the smoke clear
You're not here
What then?

Your time comes around
Dust settles down
Will we ever see you again?

The clock strikes the time
You paid for the crime
You're gone and we're here
What then?

What then
Are we supposed to do?
All we have are memories of you
Holding onto

What then?
If you could do it all again
What then?
Would you change how things end?

The smoke has cleared
With a flash you're no longer here
Tomorrow will come
Without you
What are we to do when all that's left are these memories of you?
©2008LisaM.Earnest

To The Babies

Emily Rose
12/31/97 - 12/31/97

Dalton Rodger
5/18/03 - 5/18/03

To Emmy ~ Daddy bought you a little lamb with a pink bow. It got misplaced over the years but just like you, it is not forgotten. Mommy made this picture for you and your brother. I hope you like it. I know you're safe in the arms of the Lamb of God and will never know the pain this world can bring. I miss you. I love you.

To Dalton ~ My sweet boy, you were just a little too eager to come. I guess you wanted to join your big sister Emmy, that's okay. Mommy's not angry. I understand. I still think about how handsome you would have looked in the little suits Mommy bought for you. I bet you would have looked just like your daddy. I try to think of that instead of how fragile you looked on your birthday. I think about how you would have looked when you were all finished growing, but its okay, you were just a little too eager. I miss you. I love you.



When I took this photograph, I imagined my babies on that playground. I never got to hear them say "swing me higher, Mommy," but some how it seems they are here always.

Slipped right through my fingers

What can you learn from a less than 24hr friendship? Two little words she said to me that I hold onto. She didn't ask why I'd avoided her for a year. She didn't try to understand my pain. She simply accepted my friendship, hugged me, told me "God understands", and then she was gone. I'm sorry for the time I wasted. Regrets...In memory of "J", and what could have been.

Coach

"Don't be sorry. Be right!"

Sometimes it seemed that this teacher was the only person on earth who truly understood me. Can't wait to see him again and thank him for all those times he let me ignore history to write poetry. "Folks can't understand if they've never hurt."

Paw

Jerry was a wonderful father n law to me and absolutely adored his angel . He left us September 24,2007

DeeDee

DeeDee was my dad's friend and at one time had hopes and dreams of being my step mom. She and I talked almost everyday and try as I did to understand, I just couldn't. Drugs took her away on her birthday October 1, 2007.



Questions
I see you staring through me
At the close of every day
I see your hallow eyes
I watch you walk away

Closing in like a raging hurricane
My mind replays the tragedy once again
All the things I could have done
All the words I left unsaid

Did you know how much I loved you?
Did I fail to show it well?
Was my friendship not enough to
Keep you from your hell?

I tried but failed you so
This guilt eats away at my soul
I see you staring through me
Why did you have to go?
©2007LisaM.Earnest

Fragile Rose
A fragile rose
Caught in the thorns of life
Discarded and trampled
By the pain and strife

Like a thorn
Embedded into the skin
Memories brought forth
Despair again

The sun did not shine
She faded in the shade
Her petals drifted silently down
As another fragile rose fell to the ground
©2007LisaM.Earnest

Too Long
I ask myself
From night to dawn
Why have so many gone?
Was it because I did something wrong?
Perhaps I tried to hold on too long

Through the sea of beds
I carry my own
Another prayer said
Another seed sewn
Perhaps I tried to hold on too strong

One by one by one by one
They drifted to sleep
I stand, alone
Memories of loved ones, I try to keep
Forgive me, perhaps I held on too long
©2008LisaM.Earnest

Aunt Rhonda

My wonderful aunt and friend

Mom and Dad

I found these flowers growing during my last walk about the property. I call them Mom & Pop



Mom left us Christmas Eve 2005 , Dad January of 2008

Aunt Callie

Feeble Hands

Through the pain and confusion
She lifts her eyes toward You
There's a race for time, and she's losing
Still her heart knows what to do

Feeble hands reach toward heaven
Giving praises to her King
Though she doesn't remember brethren
She knows who's child she is and inwardly she sings
Feeble hands reach toward heaven
For her spirit is all His

The final hours are now approaching
Her mind wanders afar
Though we can not call her back now
Her eyes are twinkling like a star

Feeble hands reach toward heaven
Giving praises to her King
Though she may not know her brethren
Her spirit, it still sings
Feeble hands reach toward heaven
As the final moments ring

Now the pain and confusion
No longer rule her way
For us she's gone to sleep now
But with Him she'll ever stay

Feeble hands that reached toward heaven
Giving praises to her King
They are restored and raised up longer
She raises her voice and sings

Feeble hands no longer reaching
All is said and done
He welcomed Home His servant
And its victory she won
©2007LisaM.Earnest

Momma Donna

She went Home in 2004. She may not have been blood related, but in my heart, she was "Momma"..I called her Momma. She called me Precious. She was my yellow rose.
The Yellow Rose
Few things in life hold true to beauty
Like the yellow rose
From the ground it leaps up
In vibrant color it is determined
To proclaim its arrival, no it will not be silenced
A song bursts forth from its tiny bud
Sent to bless all those who will listen -
Still, the yellow rose pushes forward
To do more, to be more
A radiant light emerges from the darkness
Though its days be numbered on Earth
The yellow rose stands strong and tall
Through all of life's storms to share
It's beauty and elegance with all
Who will take the time to enjoy?
The fragrance of its worth
©2004LisaM.Earnest