Sweet Dreams Baby Biondo

I had to step back and absorb the blow before I could come back to this blog. I chose not to mention a loss the week of Father's Day. It was classified a "chemical pregnancy" one that never knew life, but to me it was more, however, my new husband and I did not dwell on that loss and continued forward. Within a couple of months we had conceived again. Everything seemed to be going really well until I began spotting in the 10th week. I tried to tell myself it was normal and carry on but by week 11 it was heavy bleeding and on October 18th, 2013, no heart beat was found. The miscarriage completed on November 4th, just yesterday from when I am writing this, and though my heart is breaking, I am more concerned with doing all that I can to prevent this from happening again, and believing that there will be a next time! 

Sweet Dreams Baby Biondo ~ I carried you for 12 weeks, though you fell asleep week 5 ~ Mommy & Daddy love and miss you very much ~ 

the day we found out

our first and only picture of you

Happy Birthday Daddy! 9/18

Ang and Paw Paw, 07

Dear Daddy, 

There is so much I want to tell you! 

David and I got divorced, finally. Then last year I met a wonderful man and guess what Daddy? He loves me. He really does! I don't think any man besides you ever loved me before. Well, his name is Mike, he comes with a story but deep  inside I know you would love him! He's funny. Oh he loves to make people laugh, Daddy and he has a big heart like you. He cares for people and he's willing to hold the door open for others. Yes, I still remember you telling me to find a man willing to hold the door open for not just me, but others. Well Mike does! Angela stayed with her sperm donor (as she calls him) for 9 months while I got settled in Florida. I made it Daddy! I live in Florida like I always dreamed of doing :) And now, Angela does too!

Ang and Pawpaw Easter 06

Daddy & me at my first wedding 97

Mike and I got married! I couldn't find it in my heart to walk down the isle without you so we opted for the clerk's office, but it was cute and fun.  

I'm making some changes in life. You and mom inspired me in ways I never knew. I do try to be the best wife and mom. I saw how you sometimes got ignored and I try real hard to not ignore my sweet husband. I don't hit my kid of course, we work things out verbally and with different forms of discipline. I know. I know, Spare the rod, but for us it works! But you and mom did something else, you had me when mom was 38. Since I'm now 34, newly married and praying daily for more children, looking at my own birth certificate gives me hope. 

It's bitter sweet though, you would have to send your grandbaby down to Earth to be with me. I know how you feel about your grandbabies, but Daddy, you know I'm a good mommy and would be again. Can you just give that baby one more walk around the rose gardens in Heaven and then ask God to send him or her to us? 

Roses from Daddy's property

I love you Daddy. I didn't want to get all emotional, but I have.

 I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday this coming Wednesday. I work so many hours I'm afraid I might forget so I'm getting this in early! I miss you Daddy. 
You are not forgotten. 

Love Always,

~your baby girl~